Never Get a Pirate as a Dog-Sitter
by FitzyScot
Summary: When Archie is desperate and in need of some help, Hook takes it upon himself to be the gentleman that he wants to be. But when Pongo makes for an escape, will Hook be able to find him in time before Archie notices? Or will he need more than just a second chance? Rating for mild language and triggering topics such as anxiety and depression.
1. In Deep Shit

He should have known better than to agree to dog-sitting for the town therapist, Archie Hopper. It had only been about two hours since the man left for a conference at the hospital, and the house had already been turned upside down. Though as he sat, picking stuffing from pillows out of his hair, he realized he still would have gone through with it.

Hook had been walking down the road, enjoying the fresh autumn air when Archie approached him. The therapist had looked so worn down when he walked up to Hook, he thought that maybe someone had died. It wasn't every day Archie bucked-up the courage to talk to the pirate.

"U-um, I know you're probably to busy, but could we talk for a moment?" Hook was so surprised that he couldn't help but say yes, so Archie joined him on his walk through town. At first he tried indulging Hook with small talk, which he didn't really respond to, and before long just got right to the point. Apparently after being rejected so many times, Emma suggested Archie give Hook a shot. He _was_ trying to turn a clean slate after all. But dog-sitting? Really?

The look the man gave him – this face that lied somewhere between discomfort and pure terror – spoke volumes to him. He was obviously last on the "dog sitter" list. Which, frankly, was understandable. Since kidnapping a person is something that normally takes you off of the acquaintance list. But since he never apologized - and since he wasn't a man of words, he decided he might as well help the poor guy.

Archie showed him around the apartment a little before six. Creating idle chatter as he explained Pongo's walk cycle and food times, his smile grew with every word he spoke. He went out the door with such a bright smile that it threw Hook off center—he had no chance to tell him that he didn't know the first thing about taking care of a dog. It was obvious the man didn't get a chance to venture out very often. Pongo pranced around the door for a few minutes, expecting his master to come back inside. When he didn't, he patted over to his bed and crawled under a small blanket that laid on top. Hook didn't want to admit it, but the Dalmatian looked rather cute cuddled into a small ball. After taking off his coat, Hook plopped down onto the couch, adjusting to the cushions, only to feel like someone was watching his every move. He turned his head around the room only to see the cause of this feeling.

Pongo was now sitting in front of him, staring with bright, wide eyes. And he wouldn't look away.

"Stop it."

Pongo gave a small noise. Something that resided deep in his throat, that not many people ever heard.

Thirty- seconds. One minute. Five minutes. The clock kept ticking yet his attention never faltered. It was as if the dog was speaking to him through his eyes, as if saying, _this is my home, and that is my human, and you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into_. Hook was frozen, but then he smirked. A dog thought he was going to scare him that easily? Think again, Pongo. He leaned forward as a smirk grew across his face. He poked Pongo's nose with his finger. "Try me, Mutt." Pongo barked playfully, dropping down on his front paws to waggle his whole butt in the air. His eyes were shining, ears perked up high. _You're on._ Hook leaned back into the couch as Pongo trotted off to the kitchen, finally putting his mind at ease.

His eyes darted around the room as he finally began to relax. The living room seemed to warm Hook's insides. Dark green walls and wooden floors covered in antique rugs that filled the room with a smell that can only be described as a worn out book. The place was filled with pictures – mostly of Archie and Marco. Others of Archie and some of the other town's people. Plants were scattered everywhere along with other memorabilia that Hook could only assume the therapist had collected over the years. And for being a place he had never been to before, he felt oddly at home.

He awoke about thirty minutes later to the sound of shattering glass and a loud yipe.

"Seriously?" Hook sighed at the sight. On the ground rested a broken picture frame with glass scattered around it. Looking at Pongo with a deep scowl, he sat down comfortably on the tile of the kitchen as he methodically picked up the bigger chunks and dropped them into the trash. As he sat, he picked up the picture and turned it over in his hand,. Should he throw away the frame and buy a new one? Should he leave it? Why did he care? He stared at the picture, admiring the grin spread across the therapists face. He never knew there could be so much life in one picture. Archie's arm was wrapped around Marco, and Pongo who was trying to jump in front of the camera. He could feel his face flush as he stared at the photo, entranced. The way the corners of his mouth crinkled with a smile. How his glasses rose with his cheeks. He wanted to see that smile for himself – maybe even be the cause of it.

Pongo's bark shattered through the silence, causing Hook's face of contemplation to vanish without a trace. He set the frame back on the shelf as he got off the ground with a huff. How could he ever make that man smile like that? But then again, why would he even want too? Archie had no reason to be happy around him. Nobody really did.

It took longer than he thought it would to clean up the left over glass. Continuously dropping the broom and dust pan, he eventually managed to work the dust pan with his foot as he worked the broom with his hand. He looked up at the clock. 6:45 p.m. It hadn't even been a full hour since the therapist left? It felt like forever.

He began to search the area around him as he tried to find something to do. But the more he looked, the less of Pongo he saw – and that horrified him. He rushed around the house, jumping from room to room, checking every where from the bedroom to Archie's office. Once Hook made his way back down to living room, he could tell that Pongo had been there recently. Pillows had been knocked onto the floor, papers were scattered, and his dog bowl managed to get flipped upside down, sprawling its' contents. This was not going to end well.

Two hours later, Hook continues to pick clumps of stuffing from his hair, as he contemplates how his life had slowly begun it's tract down the nearest toilet bowl. Not only were half the townspeople afraid of him, but animals found him completely inferior. Hook had given up trying to clamp Pongo's leash onto his collar only moments ago, after many failed attempts of stopping the dog as he raced through the house. Up and down the stairs, into the living room, the kitchen, back up the stairs, into the tub, out of the tub, onto the bed, back down the stairs, and out the doggy door in the kitchen. Hook had managed through many stressful things in his life, but this was the first in a long time that literally made him want to die. He was sprawled out, panting on the couch with his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. After laying on the couch for about ten minutes, contemplating on wether or not he should just leave the hound alone, he began to notice a clock ticking on the wall adjacent from him.

It was too quiet. How long had Pongo been outside for? His eyes squinted as he read the clock: 8:30 p.m. Archie was going to be back in about half an hour. The cushions on the couch practically flew off from his speed as he raced to the back door. He slammed it open, turning his head this way and that, before shouting, "Pongo?!"

Nothing. He ran through the backyard cursing and kicking at the grass as he looked behind bushes and up trees – only to find the side gate cracked open. He was so dead. Sprinting back inside, it occurred to the pirate that he had never seen Archie angry, and he didn't know if he was ready to see that. Could the man even get angry? He had heard of the therapist putting Regina in her place on more than one occasion, but never anything more. He paced back and forth in the kitchen as he contemplated cleaning the house, searching for Pongo, or just waiting for Archie to return home. He glanced at the clock over and over – was there even a chance of finding Pongo and saving himself in the process. After moments of cursing and complaining about the stupid dog, he ran out of the door with a leash, hoping whatever higher power that exists will show him some mercy on this night. But knowing his luck, that probably wouldn't happen.


	2. Coffee, Coffee, and More Coffee

Hey all! Bet you thought this story was abandoned BUT I'm back. Finally, with a slightly longer chapter and a more planned out story. Unfortunately when I initially started this story, I was trying to cram finals and also graduate from college, so I lost the motivation to finish this story very quickly. Now that I've taken a long break, and figured out more of my shit, I'm planning on trying to publish a chapter for this and other stories like, every other week?

Anyway, thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

For about five whole minutes, Archie stood on his front doorstep.

He had never expected Hook to take up the offer to speak with him, never mind actually watch Pongo for a few hours. Out of the few weeks he had known him, Hook never struck Archie as the "dog-loving" type. Plus, he figured he seemed so inferior that even his own presence would manage to waver Hook's decision. Nonetheless, here he stood, debating on whether staying or going was the better option.

Archie pressed his ear against the door, listening to the soft padding of Pongo's feet as he trotted to his bed. He could envision Pongo in his mind's eye: wide, wet eyes staring at the door, begging for his master to return. To rid this house of the monstrosity they referred to as a "sitter."

Deep breathe in. Deep breathe out. In. Out.

Archie turned on his heel, before starting to walk with a small gust of speed. If he didn't leave now, he wouldn't leave at all. It was unfair to judge Hook before he even had a chance. He was all about second chances after all.

So, in an attempt to relieve him of such stressful tendencies, Archie began counting his steps. When that stopped working, he retreated to tongue twisters. He mumbled them under his breath as he grew closer into town square, gaining a small glance from the occasional townsfolk. God damn, he really hadn't been out in a while.

As he grew closer to the hospital, his nerves began to ease. One person could only worry so much—it should be fine. Right? What was the worst that could happen?

Why was he even coming here?

He had received an invitation to this small "conference" about a month ago, and he didn"t really understand why. Granted, he was the only therapist in town, so maybe that had something to do with it. But he never prescribed any medications—that was way out of his experience—only ever techniques and maybe a candy or two. Maybe they were going to tell him he wasn't fit for the job? Maybe they found someone better?

Ok, never mind, don't think about it. _Just don't think about it._

Before he knew it, the therapist was already inside the hospital. He reported to the front desk before being given a name tag, then was quietly escorted to one of the hospitals conference rooms. It was rather large, filled with many doctors and speakers of relatively equal knowledge in medicine or psychology.

At first, Archie just stood awkwardly at the snack table. It had been a while since he interacted with another human outside of appointments, so it was hard for him to leave that role in social situations.

A few hospital staff that he knew was attending, so he stopped and had a chat when he spotted them. In the beginning, they talked mostly of different techniques for patients and shared experiences, but as more people arrived, Archie was slowly pushed from their conversations. Everyone knew each other in some way, and he eventually found himself sipping on a drink quietly by the snack table all over again. This was one hell of a social situation he put himself in.

He threw the styrofoam cup in the trash as he headed down the hall towards the restroom. This was room was way too crowded for his liking.

He could hear the heels of his shoes click against the tile, calming him enough to think clearly for the first time that night. Who did he think he'd see? All questions that he honestly had no answer to. He felt as if he owed it to himself—or rather, his Storybrooke self, to attend something so stiff. Yes, he hadn't been out in a long time with anyone besides Geppetto since the curse broke. And yes, it was nice to not have a leash wrapped around his wrist. But he was beginning to miss the warmth of his dog's eyes and the comfort of home. Maybe he should just head home early?

The bathroom door creaked as it swung back and hit the tiled wall with a thud. He took in a deep breath, feeling the cool and empty air that the bathroom provided. Finally, some form of solitude.

He took in a deep breath before looking at himself in the mirror. He stared into it, observing his tailored suite with a bright purple bow tie. He poked at his cheeks and smoothed out his forehead—freeing himself of any wrinkles. When did solitude become his routine? He reached out his hand and placed it gently against the mirror, staring into his reflection.

Why was he here? He pulled his hand back to his side as a group of men clambered into the bathroom, babbling drunkenly about some medical banter that he couldn't understand. They continued to talk as they stood at their separate urinals, their voices echoing off the walls. _Jesus._ With a stiffness in his step and a flush to his cheeks, Archie walked out of the bathroom as quick as possible and back to the main event.

He left the building the same way he came. Quickly and quietly, in search of answers to too many questions.

* * *

The bell above the door gave a small _ding_ as Archie stepped into the diner _._ It was empty, minus a few local towns people scattered across a few tables. Archie grinned and took a deep breath, smelling greasy food and fresh coffee. Now this was an outing he could enjoy. He plopped down into a stool and loosened his bowtie as he glanced at the menu resting on the counter.

"Well, if it isn't Dr. Hopper."

Archie looked up to see Ruby, dressed in grey leggings and a burgundy-colored crop top. An Apron was tied around her waist, covered in stains of different colors, but she walked with a grace only she could have. Her lips were painted bright red, and her hair was put into a high-ponytail. She smiled at Archie, obviously happy to see him. And he was happy to see her too.

He smiled, though it faltered at the corners, giving his expression an edge she couldn't quite place, "Hey, Ruby."

Her eyebrow arched as she leaned against the counter, "Long night?"

He nodded and rubbed his face, "Just a bit stressful is all."

The moment he looked up, she was already making two steaming cups of coffee. What a blessing she was. It wasn't long before she came back with their drinks, sliding one to him before taking a sip of her own and giving him her full attention.

"Does this have to do with this fancy look you're sporting?"

He looked down at himself, and realized how overly-formal he had dressed for a night at the hospital, "I uh, honestly didn't think it was that formal."

"It probably isn't for you."

He shrugged at her words and looked down at the menu, avoiding her bright-eye gaze. She laughed and shook her head as she curled her finger around a strand of hair.

"So, what? Did a date not go so well?"

Archie blushed bright and grimaced with a shake of his head, "You of all people know I don't go out enough for that to even be an option." He took a swig of his coffee before continuing, "That conference I told you about was tonight."

"I thought you were excited for it, though."

He frowned and stared into his cup, one of his fingers fidgeting with a small chip in the ceramic, "I was. But it ended up not being my scene, so I left and came here. I can't handle that many people in one place anymore."

"You're beginning to sound like an old man." Ruby frowned as she tapped an acrylic nail against her cup in thought. It wasn't every day that she took the therapist role off his shoulders, and she had to tread carefully. He seemed like he was wound a smidge too tight the moment he walked through the door, "We need to get you out more, I think."

"Doing what though? It's not like I've ever had a reputation of being a social butterfly, even before Story Brooke."

"Well… Why don't we get you a date? You're better with one on one conversation anyway."

Archie's face flushed and he shook his head, "I don't know… what good will that do?"

"For starters, it'll probably get you out of the house more."

"Rubes, really, I'm fine how things are," he chuckled awkwardly at her and she pouted at him. Dammit. She always wins with that pout. He hated that pout so much.

"Come on, Archie. You never even leave your house unless it's for work or to get food here. You've become a creature of habit." Archie blushed brightly.

"I get out for more than just that."

"Mmm…," Ruby thought for a moment, then a smirk spread across her face. "Not unless it's for Pongo. It's only those three things."

Damn. She cornered him. He didn't know what getting a date would do about that though. No one in town even gave him a second look, unless they were his patient. He stayed quiet, starting to get wrapped in his one head. Ruby frowned as she watched him and she gently booped his forehead, disrupting his anxiety ridden thoughts.

"Stop that," she smiled gently and grabbed hold of his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He couldn't help but smile a little at her comfort. "This isn't something to fuss over. We're not searching for a soulmate, just, ya know…," she twirled her hand in the air as if that summed up her thoughts, "…somebody. It might be what you need to shake things up." She let go of his hands to take a sip of coffee as she started to think.

Archie set his cup down and held it tight in his palms, letting the warmth fill him until it felt like it would spill out of his ears and onto the floor.

"All right. What do we do then?" He looked up at her and smiled a little, not sure how reluctant he should be.

"Well," Ruby started as she set her cup on the counter, "typically, I would suggest just finding the nearest person and getting you two together- "

"I'd rather not do that this time, remember the last time you tried doing that?" Archie paled at the memory, and Ruby smirked.

"Yes, I do. You spilt coffee all over yourself right as she walked through the door, and then you made some excuse to leave."

"Please, don't remind me," He rubbed his face with his hand. "Can we _please_ not do that again?"

"All right, All right, I gotcha. No more strangers," She giggled as Archie uncovered his eyes enough to peek through. "So then, why don't we take a more reasonable approach to this."

"And that is-?"

"Are you interested in anybody?"

"I don't know…," Archie blushed a little as he looked at his coffee in thought, "I can't think of anyone in particular I'm attracted too."

"There has to be someone though, "a sly grin spread across her face as she leaned against the counter, "Not into older women, are ya?"

"Of course not!" Archie shook his head hard. His legs squirmed in his seat as he blushed, his confidence in the situation disappearing. Like he had much to begin with. "I uh, I'm gay, Ruby."

Her sly smile turned warm at him before finishing her coffee, "Based off your last date, I figured." She set her empty mug on the counter with a sober expression, "I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner."

"It's fine, I didn't know myself until then. I've never really been one for dates to begin with, considering I was a cricket before Story Brooke. Not a lot of opportunities to explore my sexuality"

Ruby laughed at that, her grin growing wide. "Okay, well let's do some exploring." She grabbed a pot of caffeinated coffee and filled both mugs, before leaning back onto the counter. She tapped on the menu in front of Archie, "Do you want any food? This conversation may take a while."

Archie laughed a good laugh for the first time that night, and Ruby couldn't help but feel proud. "Only if I'm not bothering you. I don't want to interrupt you and your work." He gestured around to the nearly empty dining room only to get a playful shove from Ruby.

"I'm going on break now, anyway. I'll put in your order first and then we'll talk."

Archie smiled big as she walked back into the kitchen. He knew he came to the right place tonight, there were just a few bumps along the way. Maybe this would be a good night for him after all.

* * *

Please send me a review of what you thought on this chapter or the last! I'm thinking of editing the last chapter so it's not as crappy haha. Also, if you have any requests of things you'd like to see, I'd love to hear about it! Hopefully it'll be a longer chapter next week!


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